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The Writer Ham
Ham is the owner/editor/webmaster of his weekly publication
"Hamantics". Consisting of news, editorials, photos, contests,
misadventures and cartoons, Hamantics is considered to be one of the premier
news publications in Cabbagetown. Hamantics is also home to the
Misadventures of Suzy TooToo. Even though they are always quarrelling, Ham
and Suzy are good friends.
When he is not trying to keep his publication in the black,
Ham enjoys escaping from the day-to-day rigours of life deep into his
imagination. What results are short stories that are simply "Hamtastic".

Ham's current girlfriend is Natalie Portman. Why date a Natalie Portman
look-a-like when you can have the real thing. The two of them are very happy
together.
For a brief time, Ham dated Keira
Knightley, the Natalie Portman look-a-like who played a superstar soccer player it the hit
film Bend it like Beckham. Unfortunately, Keira turned out to be needy and
self centred so Ham had no choice but to dump her sorry ego. He didn't even date her
long enough for the media to take a picture of them together.
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