Meeting Rachel McAdams
(June 26, 2007)

The Queen had been so impressed by Ham and I at Vimy Ridge that she insisted we return to Canada via her private jet “The Queen Mum”. The only catch was we had to stop first in Vancouver for twelve hours as the Queen was sending her assistant to Vancouver’s Granville Island Market to purchase 45 pounds of British Columbia strawberries. The trip would cost us an extra day away from home but Ham was never one to turn down a free plane ticket.

Normally a free trip to an exotic city would be cause for celebration but only a year ago Ham and I had spent a week in Vancouver. We had already seen all the sights and had already had one misadventure (The Ghost of Pierre Berton) so there was not much left to discover.

However Ham had one final item on his “Things to Do in Vancouver” list.
“Suzy I’m going to find the grave of Cyclone Taylor, the famed hockey player – next to Wayne Gretzky, the greatest player ever born in Southwestern Ontario. Cyclone is buried in a cemetery somewhere in Vancouver. You want to come?”
“Hmmm… go visit cemeteries looking for a dead hockey player. Umm... yeah, tempting but I’ll pass.”

Why visit cemeteries when I can go shopping on Vancouver’s fashionable Robson Street?

Equipped with a debit card, a little change and no bank machine in sight, I sucked up my pride and took public transit. From my Vancouver misadventures with Ham (who would only take the bus), I knew the bus travels from the airport to downtown Vancouver.

I caught the bus and quickly fell asleep. Foolishly I had forgotten that I had travelled through numerous time zones in one day so it was only natural to fall asleep. When I awoke, I was the only passenger on the bus – never a good thing. Plus I was completely lost – also never a good thing.

I politely asked the busdriver for directions. He obliged and let me off at the next intersection. I walked to a little bus shelter, which was occupied by one person – an average looking woman approximately my age.

“Excuse me, does this bus go to Robson Street?”
“I believe it does but I’m not from around here. I’m from St. Thomas.”

“Really? Wow, you are so lucky. I’d love to live on the island of St. Thomas. Actually any Caribbean Island would be good.”
“No, not the St. Thomas of the Caribbean. St. Thomas of Southwestern Ontario.”
“What’s special about St. Thomas?”
“Well, we do have a few celebrities.”
“This is Canada so I guess you mean hockey players?”
“Why yes one. Actually, many consider him one of the best.”

I became excited, as it is seldom that I’m on top of the hockey knowledge tree.
“Cyclone Taylor is from your home town?”
“What? Who’s…? No. I meant Joe Thornton.”

Two tourists approached us. It was clear that they were nervous. Accustomed to being hounded for autographs from my adoring public, I stood up and walked towards them.
“Yes, it is me. Don’t worry, I don’t mind signing autographs.”
I grabbed his pen from his hand and signed his pad of paper.
“Here you go.”

He read his autograph.
“Keep it real old school style, Suzy TooToo.”

“Have you been in any movies?”
“No but I write for a very unsuccessful website.”
The tourist gave me a puzzled look. The girl in the shelter interrupted.

“I think he may be here for me. Did you want my autograph?”
“Rachel McAdams, right?”
She smiled, nodded and signed the pad. A picture was taken and the tourists left us in the shelter.

“Let me guess, you are the other celebrity from your hometown?”
“To be honest I was thinking about Jumbo the Elephant.”
“I loved that movie. Poor Jumbo with the big ears. I wish I could fly. Wouldn’t catch me waiting for a bus if I had flying ears.”
“No that’s Dumbo. Dumbo had the big ears. Jumbo was just big.”
“Doesn’t matter, it’s all elephants.”

“What movies have you been in?”
“You probably know me from Wedding Crashers and The Notebook.”
“These are movies?”
“Umm, yeah, popular ones too. I was also in Mean Girls, if that helps.”
“Mean Girls! That’s one of my favourite movies. Were you an extra?”
“Actually I was one of the stars.”

“Hey, you aren’t Tina Fey.”
“Yeah I know. I played Regina.”

I looked at my bus shelter mate with a puzzled ‘you are lying’ look.

“Picture me with bleach blonde hair, skimpy clothes, twenty pounds thinner and mean.”
“Why put a finger down my throat and watch me puke – it is you! But you are so… nice.”
“I’m Canadian.”

“I mean you are super nice. You should have won the Academy Award for that role. Regina was so, so mean. Why didn’t you win an Oscar?”
“Comedies don’t tend to get nominated – plus anything to do with Saturday Night Live be it producer, writer or actor, never wins an Oscar. Just ask Eddie Murphy or Bill Murray.”

“What are you doing in Vancouver?”
“Making a movie.”
“So why are you taking the bus?”
“I may be an actress...”
“No you are a movie star! Anyone from Mean Girls is a movie star.”
“Okay, I may be a movie star but I’m still a regular person.

“No you are a celebrity. We are above other people.”
“Who are you again?”