Skippy
(August 21, 2008)

Urrgh, another heat wave is upon us. It’s not so much the heat I dislike but rather the outcome of my hair. Heat waves always leave my natural beautiful hair too puffy.

Luckily for me, my friend Mac had invited me to the lake for a canoe ride and to meet his new dog Skippy – but not necessarily in that order.

I arrived to find Mac and Skippy playing on the beach.

“Suzy, this is Skippy.”
I exchanged salutations with the dog.

“Shake a paw Skippy.”
The little dog held out its paw for me to shake. I obliged.

“He’s a bright little thing.”
“For sure Suzy. I’ve only been training him for only a few months. Everyone always says their dog is the smartest but my dog Skippy here, really is. Watch this!”

Mac would announce a command and without hesitation, Skippy would obey.
“Sit.”
“Stand.”
“Jump.”
“Play Dead.”
“Somersault.”

“Not bad Mac.”
“Not bad? That is only the beginning. Watch this!”

“Backflip!”
“Triple Toe Loop!”
“Triple Sow Cow!”
“Quad!”

“Quad?” I said. “Seriously?”

“Skippy, Quad! Quad, Skippy.”
Skippy outperformed any Kurt Browning wannabe.
“I’m quite impressed Skippy.”

“Wait there’s more.”
“Triple Sow Cow, Triple Toe Loop!”

Sure enough Skippy obeyed the command and completed the difficult combo technical jump.

They say a dog is a man’s best friend but, after meeting Skippy, I think it would be more accurate to state “a girl’s ideal boyfriend” as Skippy – without hesitation obeyed every order given to him by his master.

The beach was not helping my puffed hair so we strolled to the canoe. We, including Skippy, put on our life jackets and after a quick paddling lesson, we were canoeing in the lake. Soon my arms got tired.

“Is it okay if I stop paddling for awhile?”
“No problem, I’m getting tired too. Skippy will take over for us.”

“Skippy, paddle.”

With those two simple words, Skippy dug out his personal little dog paddle. Skippy paddled as Mac and I enjoyed the cool breeze off the lake. Skippy was an excellent canoeist as the canoe stayed nice and smooth on the water. I felt my puffy hair improving.

“You know, I always pictured canoes to be topsy-turvy.”
“Actually they’re pretty sturdy. I mean as long as you stay seated you will be okay Suzy. It’s when you stand up or shift from one side to the other that the canoe will roll over.”

With these last two words of “roll over” Skippy’s ears perked up. He dropped his paddle and obeyed his master – he rolled over from one side of the canoe to the other.

This was not good.

The sudden shift of Skippy from one side of the canoe to the other caused the canoe to wobble.
“Skippy, don’t roll over!”

Again Skippy, hearing the words “roll over”, obeyed his master. Again the canoe wobbled.

“Suzy whatever you do, don’t say ‘roll over’. Oh shoot!”

The final command was our undoing. As Skippy completed his third “roll over”, the canoe obeyed the command as well.

As Mac, tried to tip the canoe upright, I treaded water next to Skippy. Skippy was relaxing, his tongue wagging – enjoying the bath.

Of course, my tongue was not wagging and I was not enjoying the bath. Lake Ontario, no matter the heat wave, is freezing. Plus contrary to popular opinion, its pollution is never good for puffy hair.

“Stupid dog. I wish I could strap a cannonball to your leg...”

Before I could finish my rant, Skippy’s ears perked up.

“Oh no, what word did I say?”

Skippy leaped his entire body six feet into the air, tucked his forepaws under his back paws and dropped into the lake. My face took the full splash and the subsequent aftershock splashes.

“Right… cannonball.”
With this, Skippy completed another cannonball into the lake. Again, my face took the full splash and the subsequent aftershock splashes.

“Mac, I can’t believe you taught Skippy to cannonball!”
“Oh shoot.”

With that, Skippy jumped into the air…