Super Kite
(August 27, 2004)

I awoke on a beautiful Sunday morning by a cool breeze swooshing through my bedroom window unto my face.  I curled up in my blankets letting the breeze tickle my exposed toes, up my pink comforter and pass over my face, then through my hair.

I laid in bed for about 23 minutes contemplating whether to get out of bed.  It was a rare thing to have a weekend off as I had been working double shifts at the Flower Shop.  I felt like staying in bed forever, popping up my comforter like a tent, turning my double bed into a luxurious shanty town - but I knew this could not be.  I thought of going down to the secret beach to be treated like a God but I didn't feel like being naked.  Still undecided, I turned to my right to see my birthday present from Ham.  My day was immediately planned.

Ham had given me an oversized kite in the shape of a beaver with a cape.  He said it combined my national pride with my favourite expression "go fly a kite!".  I had not used the kite yet, not even taking it out of its package - until that Sunday.

I left my bed, grabbed my super kite, opened it and read the instructions while peeing.  I assembled my super kite while eating my raspberry muffin for breakfast.  I showered, changed and left for the bus stop with kite in hand. 

It took two bus transfers and one bus missing me at a stop (the TTC doesn't seem to like me since I wrote about my bad experience with them) but I finally made it to the Scarborough Bluffs.

The Scarborough Bluffs are located in the east end of Toronto in the borough of Scarborough.  Named by Elizabeth Since in the 1790s because the Bluffs reminded her of Scarborough, England, the Bluffs are a rare geological reminder of the Ice Age.  Made of sand and clay, they overlook a small bay, and Lake Ontario.  Sandwiched between the two bodies of water is a peninsula park known as Bluffer's Park.

I walked down the steep road to Bluffer's Park.  There was the smell of hamburgers in the air as families flooded the park with their bar-b-que family picnics.  I found a small quiet, yet windy, area on the beach and sat down.  I unrolled the string of my kite, long enough to catch the breeze but short enough not to be dragged along the sand as I ran with it.  I held my kite by the beaver's belly and ran.

The beaver kite was awesome.  It had to be the best kite I had ever owned or even flown.  Usually it takes 2-3 times for a kite to fly but this super beaver kite went up the first time.  I t seemed to the cuddle the wind beneath its red cape.  I ran up and down the beach flying my kite.  I was as high emotionally as my kite was in the air however everything came crashing down when a policeman approached me.

"Excuse me, Miss."
"Yes officer."
"It's illegal to fly a kite in the park."
"Whatever."  

The officer had to be 23 years old - tops.  I didn't really believe he was a police officer.  I had a feeling it was some sort of prank so I continued to fly my kite.

"Miss, Bylaw 129.92 Section 1-3b clearing states 'No Kite Flying anywhere in this Park.'"
"Oh."  

I looked to see if any of my friends were hiding in the bushes.  I couldn't believe something as simple as kite flying was illegal.

"Whatever."
"Miss it states so on the sign."  he pointed to a sign.  

I read the sign and sure enough he was right.  According to Toronto Parks and Recreation Bylaw 129.92 Section 1-3b, there was to be 'No Kite Flying anywhere in this park'.  I was shocked.

"I'm shocked." I proclaimed.  "When did this come into effect?"
"This year.  I'm having a heck of a time enforcing it.  Now, please bring your kite down before I am forced to cut the string and confiscate it."

The officer reached to his holster, and to my surprise, did not pull out a gun but instead a pair of scissors!  Not wanting to lose the best kite I had ever seen, I complied with the officer and his stupid bylaw.

"Thank you." he said as he put his scissors back in the holster.
"Why did this bylaw become into being?"
He pulled up his belt and lowered his voice.
"Miss, I only enforce the bylaws - I don't interpret them."
"Is this bylaw for every park?"
"Yes Miss, it is."

I thanked the officer for informing me of the bylaw (I should have thanked him for ruining my fun).  He walked away only to turn and hollow "and I'll be back here again so if I see you flying a kite again, I will be forced to take it down, no warnings, no questions asked."
"Yes officer" I replied as I kicked the sand.  My plan was to wait five minutes after he left and go back to flying my kite.

Well that was the end of my day at the Bluffs and the end of my kite flying adventures in the city.  I rolled up my string, put my super beaver kite under my arm, bought a cyclone Popsicle and headed back up the hill, leaving the bluffs for the bus stop.

Halfway up the hill I took a rest as the hill's steepness combined with the wind blowing against me was too much.  As I sat sucking on my cyclone, I looked to the west at the top of the bluffs, in particular the plain on top of the bluffs overlooking Bluffer's Park.  It was relatively flat (thus a plain) with waist high grass and the wind, oh the wind, was perfect.  The wind was like the perfect wave for a surfer.  I just had to do it.  I had to fly my kite up at the plain.

I finished my cyclone and walked over to the plain.  I unrolled some string, held up my kite by its tummy and ran.  The kite, again, went up instantly.  As soon as I could get it under control, I dropped to the ground, rolled on my back, looking up into the sky watching my kite gently flowing over the plain.  I put my arms behind my head (while still holding the string) to complete my bliss.

I flew my kite for about 19 minutes in absolute solitude.  Then I heard it.  I don't remember if I heard the rustle of the grass or the panting of an out-of-shape 23 year old officer first but I knew the kite police officer was onto me.

I popped my head out of the grass to see the officer about 100 metres away, running towards me.  He recognized me, reached for his holster and removed the dreaded scissors.

"No warning for you.  I'm going to remove the kite from your possession!"

I pounced to my feet while still flying my kite.  Instinctively I ran away from the man running with scissors.  Quickly I realized this was the wrong thing to do because I was now at the edge of the plain, on top of the bluffs, overlooking the park.  There was no place to go.

"Ah-Ha!  It's over.  There's no place to go.  Now give me the kite and nobody gets hurt."

I did nothing.  He took a step closer.

"Now come on, the fun is over.  You could fall and seriously hurt yourself.  And all over a silly kite."

I did nothing.  He took a step closer.  He was with snipping distance.  I held the string over my head like a father would to protect his child from harm.  He would have to go through me first to get my super beaver kite!

Just as he was about to lunge, a strong breeze came from the north, causing my kite to... rise.  I held on for dear life as the breeze lifted me and my super beaver kite away from the officer on the plain and over the bluffs.

At first I was relieved that I got to keep my kite, then scared as I realized I was in mid air, 63 feet off the ground, suspended by a kite.  It was at this point that the true meaning of super kite hit me as my kite acted like a hang glider.  It felt like a gentle amusement ride as I slowly glided down from the top of the bluffs, over the bay and onto Bluffer's Park - almost to the exact point where the officer had stopped me the first time.  I worried as I realized the only escape would be back up the road where the plain, and the officer, were located.  As I brainstormed for possible escape plans, another gust of wind picked me up.  It carried me over the beach, onto Lake Ontario and dropped me directly in a little sailboat.

"Who are you?" the skipper asked.
"Why, I'm Suzy TooToo of course.  And this here is my super beaver kite."

I waived to the officer, still standing up on the plain shaking his fist at me.  I waived politely (like my future mother-in-law, the Queen) to the officer and followed the sarcastic waive by a sarcastic curtsey. 

I sat on the deck, flying my kite as the skipper steered the vessel all the time puzzling looking at me.  It was bliss.